My passion is serving people to walk on a journey to align their spirit and body and that they fully embody and express the divinity through their body.
On my last blog “Healing is not equal with Curing”, I wrote about the direct connection between our body and spirit and that our spiritual crisis can be manifested in disorders through physical, emotional and mental aspects.
So however my main focus is neither in “curing” nor diagnosing illness and rather in “healing” itself, it frequently occurs in many people that they succeed to prevent illness, to improve their health issues or to become free from the illness they were suffering.
I believe to taking a time of reflection is critical especially in our busy life.
So I decided to share some particular cases which may help you to deepen your understanding about the connection between spirit and body, how they behave within our complicated system.
Some might be scary or irritating , but it would be definitely enriching and inspiring.
My hope is for you to take times to reflect through each cases. You would find some important clues from them to find where you are right now in your journey, and to align your spirit and body better so that you could empower yourself to create your life with more compassion and wisdom.
These cases are shared to hand you some insights and reflections and not for diagnosing or dictating any kinds of disorders or illness. I am happy to receive request for session from you if you would like me to guide your along my skill of medical intuition. However, I strongly recommend to anyone who has concerns with their own health issue to rely on western medicine and not narrow your option just with alternative medicine. Also, due to the sensitive nature of medical intuition and making accurate discernment, please be aware not to misuse the understanding and information you receive. Please do not try making final discernment by your own nor telling other people what you think they have. In order to protect the privacy of clients, their names are changed. Thank you for your understanding.
Whenever you are ready, please find yourself sitting comfortably in your own safe space.
Take a deep breathe and open your heart.
Let your mind rest aside and bring your center into your heart.
Make a intention for your heart to receive what is.
This is the case that demonstrates the power of acceptance of the message that is sent through illness and the possibility of freedom from illness.
Tomoki is a 60 year old man who has been investing so much time and money in healing that he has many problems including physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. He has been working with me for many years, but did not make very much progress as he has had a deep identification with diseases all through his life, and although he loved to be near to healing and spirituality, the fact is that he has chosen unconsciously to hold on to problems as this was the most familiar way to deal with them. One of the imbalances that present in him has appeared in his eyes as glaucoma and astigmatism. One day, just before he entered the private intensive retreat with me, I got a message from him that one of his eyes had become blind. But he came to the retreat, ready to hear the true message of it, so I told him what I read. What I read was his strong resistance to “see” his life as it had been. He had a tendency of changing all that has been painful memories to him into comfortable stories he created in his own mind. His denial of the acknowledgement and acceptance of his reality has hence manifested into disease in his eyes and has finally made him blind. He accepted this message with his heart, and by the end of the retreat, his sight came back again.
When we give up what we cling to and can listen through our heart and to the resonance of the message it goes down to our guts with compassion and it becomes our deep understanding, it is possible we become free from symptoms or illness instantly.
<Point of reflections>
- What would be the truth I know in deep down and yet that is difficult for me to accept ? What is the message of (the name of the imbalance or illness you may have) which is sent for me to acknowledge ??
- Do I have a power enough to accept what it is ?
Or would the fear to accept what is be stronger ?? If so, what am I really afraid of ??
These cases show the majority of the clients`s state in their journey of healing and integration.
Whether they are open for “spirituality” or not, most of us know deep down there are connections between the state of health / illness and the state of our inner being. Assuming there might be something going wrong in their interior when their outer shows illness or disorder. In case 1, Tomoki was one of these people who became finally ready for listening what it is and accepting it in his heart sincerely. But there are less people who can target what it is and even less people who can accept it and work on themselves according to the true cause that created their illness or disorder. The reason is that it can be painful to embrace what it is and our egos fight with it or we are afraid of change.
In the 2nd case I would like to show some examples of these as the majority of people belong to this category.
Ketut is a male about 70 years of age and he came to see me as he had diabetes. Interestingly enough, many diabetes patients have an issue with love, the issue of “sweetness” as sugar indicates. Ketut was one of those and it was clear to me that he has been trying to please others as he was dying to be loved by others, but never succeeded to earn love that filled his emptiness and insecurity. It was difficult for him to understand this. He even tried to assosiate with me in the same way that he had been trying for his whole life. I had to show a clear boundary towards him that I was not there to fill up his loneliness for temporary but to support him to find out the love within himself. He may have felt sad or rejected, but as he would easily continue to use his illness as the way to ask for love and care from others and this would not be helpful for him to cure his diabetes. This was the first step necessary for him to accept.
45 year old man named Kadek came to see me as he had gas in his stomach, his stomach was swelling like a balloon and it was painful. I could sense intensely the huge amount of rage he carried especially towards women and that rage he could not “stomach”. This manifested as gas in his stomach. In an arrogant approach, he insisted I do the healing for him. But what I told him was that he was not ready to receive as the one to receive has to honor femininity first. Receiving itself represents our feminine aspect therefore he had to start by acknowledging his anger and that he was emitting his anger towards others in many ways unconsciously. He was also hurting himself by misinterpreting his masculinity by displaying arrogance and a rude manner. I also knew once he accepted his rage and worked on it as his issue, not only could he be free from this physical issue in his stomach but by transforming his rage into passion, he could also awaken the true power in the field of leadership and could become a wonderful father model in his family as he carried so much potential in his 1st chakra. It would be a great challenge and would require time and discipline for him to deal with such an amount of heat he carried, but I could see a change in him already over the next few days. This was evident through his expression towards others as he showed a little bit of softness and he slowed down the speed of his actions.
Putu is an old woman who is approaching her last moments in life. She was asking me for a reading as recently she was experiencing a pain her chest and had difficulty breathing. As soon as I connected with her energetic flow, I realized her energy was flowing back to the time when she was still a young woman who was loving a man whom she wished to be married to. I knew in my reading that she had to be married to someone else and that was her present husband. She worked so hard for her whole family constantly sacrificing her own wishes and dreams. Coming near to the last moments of her life, what crossed her mind was the question what if she could have chosen to be together with the one she was truly in love with and would have had a different life. This thought caused the pain in the area of her heart with great sadness. I suggested to her to embrace this sadness and to allow this feeling to expand within her chest along with gentle and deep breathing. It is my understanding that the heart area represents our personal truth and if this is repressed it causes trouble in our heart and lung. As all her life was dedicated for her husband and family, it was important for her to make space within her heart for her own to make a better balance even it is done secretly. She did not say anything when receiving these messages, but held my hand with appreciation.
It is true there are many things we cannot do about the past and sometimes people rationalize that they should not look back, but the fact is those repressed or ignored memories are the root cause of imbalance and illness. This is the bodies way in order to call our attention. Despite we can not change the past, but we can embrace those missing memories and integrate these by acknowledging the emotions that could not be fully experienced in those times.
<Point of reflections>
1. If there are something you think you need to earn from others (and which is in fact you already have) what would that be ?
2. If there are feelings that you find difficult to own, what would that be ? Sadness ? Fear ? Anger ? Disgust ? Or Joy ?
3. If there are some memories which you are willing to embrace in order to make better integration, what would that be ?
This case demonstrates that clients can save themselves from illness by going for a medical check up at an early stage of the disease. This advice given for a medical check up is because of what I see in an energetic reading.
Katy is a 40 year old woman. She is an innocent and sweet person, but she has the behavior of a disorderly child and shows the characteristics of a personality disorder. She came to visit me after struggling with the difficulty of an independence issue such as the incapability to maintain a healthy relationship with people around her or to work for any long term basis. We began to work on her inner child issue. In her energetic scans, her energy was shown as many pieces scattered outside of her physical body and showed the particularity of a person who has been through multiple violent traumas and life threatening traumas in her childhood history. Especially as children, in those traumatic experiences, we have to escape our spirit from our body otherwise we would be broken or totally lose our sanity. But this also results in imprisoning us in those times and this blocks us to grow or mature at our real age. Katy was obviously one of these cases. But despite the spiritual and mental imbalances, I first did not see any particular physical imbalance within her. But when I scanned her system in order to find out if there were any parts in her body that were living in the current moment, it was there only in the right side of her chest that was active now. That part was the only connection that could tie her in reality, helping her to carry on. From the chakric point of view, this remaining part had to do with the 4.5 chakra, which is represented in the turquoise blue vibration and this is the area we seek “who we are” and express our feeling and truth in a creative way. So here I saw two things.
One, that part would be the only and best clue to guide her into the healing process safely and it could be encouraged in her to develop her artistic way of expression (later I found out she was very talented in writing poetry and drawing pictures and this helped her to put her pain into this artistic activity rather expressing them in a harmful way.)
Two, due to the fact that this tiny spot had only been responsible and relied upon for her survival all through her life as a connecting part with reality, there was a high possibility that it has overworked to the extent of causing damage. Every time I connected with her energy, I constantly felt the pain in that spot and could not deny the possible manifestation of the problem as a consequence of over working. I suggested to her to go for a medical check up and she found out she had a benign tumor on the very spot.
Katy`s case is one example that demonstrates we could find some possible or unnoticed illness or disorder with or without the intention of finding one by tracking the flow of energy or by the impulse the body emits. By doing this we could earn benefit to prevent or deal with illnesses in earlier stage.
<The point of Reflections>
1. If you could trust the voice of your heart, how much of your Spirit is active in this present moment ? And If your spirit is not totally here, where and when would that be ?
2. Which part of your body you think the most active to compensate other parts that is not well functioned ? If there are any ways you think you can make better balance for your whole body, what would that be ?
This case demonstrates that each client has a limited point and this has to be honored instead of pushing harder in order to make healing happen.
Jane is a 33 year old woman, who has survived horrific violence and abuse all through her life from her early age. Like Katy in case 3 she came to see me as she felt she could not go on living anymore. Her emotional and mental state was in crisis and her body was screaming in many ways. One of the symptoms she felt shameful about was rosasea and she felt uncomfortable when others saw her face was red all the time. So I started by listening to her body and it was very clear that the heat and the redness was the fear and anger that she could neither own nor express. So all her emotions were surfacing on her face, rising from the bottom of her guts. This was because there was no other way of expressing. Later I knew she had never screamed or shouted even in horrific events that would scare a normal person to death and she instead had kept her voice suppressed in silence. In a gentle therapeutic approach, she started to make contact with her own feelings and emotions that had been repressed all through her life and began learning to give voices to them. After continuing several sessions she became free from rosasea that she had suffered more than 20 years.
However unlike the rosasea that disappeared shortly after treatment. The rest of her body had continued expressing with numerous symptoms and illness. As soon as one symptom was reduced or gone, another symptom appeared. In Jane`s case it seemed not so relevant where her symptoms appeared. But rather she had to create any symptom in any part of her body as a way of asking for help, showing a SOS. I needed to work on a deeper level with her as I saw in my reading that part of her needed to stay ill and did not want to be healed.
Her energetic flow tells me this. She had been abused and surrounded by nightmare like violence all through her life and as a little child she needed to be taken care of from those who were abusing her. She did not have a choice to say “NO”, so her body had to express the strong resistance towards them instead of her being able to say “NO” or escaping from the environment. She had to have an ill body as an expression for her scream that she could not express. As she had depended on this way of relating with her body, she did not know how it would be if her body was healed. She was afraid to use her own integrity to deal the wounds and trauma and instead she continued to let her body to do it for her.
Another point that made it difficult for her to be free from physical illness and disorders is that she had absorbed the energies of people who had abused her and now this violence was fully internalized. Therefore she also became the abuser as well as she has been a victim. She was trapped in this vicious circle of creating numerous illnesses and disorders to abuse her body and suffer for them as a victim.
Through two years of working with me, she has improved a lot. She had the ability to understand these systems clearly and also she had a passion to overcome all the complex difficulties she had. But I had to propose to her to stop continuing treatment at one point as she became overwhelmed by the memories coming to the surface. Along with her continued interior exploration and her process of unfold, the memories that has been buried most deeply were even more terrifying than all the violence she could remember. This she could not deal with within a safe parameter anymore and she started to intentionally hurt others with the excuse she has a right to do so as others has done this to her.
In this particular case the best guidance I could give her was to step back and wait until she could be responsible for whatever she was owning and to find space so she could continue her healing process with compassion and not with rage.
When the client can`t own their history fully or when the client reaches a point and becomes violent. This indicates they can`t own some of their wounds and traumas. This can cause serious damage not only for the client but also for the one who has brought this message in guiding the client. Other people who are associated with the client could also be at risk.
Not all clients are ready or appropriate to enter this journey or to continue the journey to complete the whole healing process. We have to honor the limit of both client and the one who guides them and surrender to the Divine.
<The point of Reflections>
1. If there are something this case could teach you or be reminded of you, what would that be ?
2. What is the true meaning of “surrender” to you ?
This last case demonstrates that the true cause of one`s illness could belong to somewhere else or someone else.
Sofia is a woman how has a 23 year old son who had been suffering epilepsy from his childhood. She had tried everything she could think of to cure him with both western and eastern form. She had taken him to specialists and had tried alternative healing from healers and even herself she had become a Reiki master in order to heal him. But her son still suffered and was not cured. I have heard from her about this briefly via messenger and I started the reading from distance without making direct contact with her son, Jack.
In order to listen to what his body was saying, I connected with him energetically. But I got a clear impression right away that this was not the issue rooted in himself, but he was simply taking over something from her mother, Sofia. Despite this he would surely need medical care as a patient but from the healing perspective he was not the only one to be treated as his imbalance was directly connected with his mother.
In my reading, I knew Sofia has been stressed out when Jack was small. This was mostly the case when she was being betrayed by her husband. This occurred when Jack was 5 year old and she nearly had a complete break down. Jack at the time being the only child had an urge to save his mother and became a scapegoat.
This is not only the case of Jack and Sofia but it is universally common for children to do anything for parents to show their love, sense of belonging and loyalty. Parents especially mothers hold the lifeline for little children in order for them to survive. If these unhealthy exchanges become chronic they become the patterns that children give away and they sacrifice anything they have including their own feelings, their innate health or their spiritual purpose to be here on earth.
What has been created between Sofia and Jack is a very unhealthy energetic codependency. It was out of love from Jack to his mother in order to absorb her shocks into his body in order to help her from pain that she could not stand to own as her own. But as people can`t digest what is not ours, Jack could not deal with it in his system and had to become an epileptic. What was worse is that by having Jack sick and having to take care of him, Sofia got a continual excuse to avoid dealing with her own pain and issues. So appeared the relationship between sick boy and helpless caring mother, but the truth beneath was the relationship between boy who offered his health in order to help his mother and the mother who let her son take over her own pains.
What Sofia has to do is to acknowledge this scenario clearly. She needs to do this with compassion for herself and without judgment . She needs to start working on herself. The more she can be responsible for whatever has happened in the past, the better she can be of help of her son to be cured.
Meanwhile, Jack has also a choice to accept this energetic entanglement that was out of love and now return his mother`s issues to her with respect and to be open for the possibility to be free from epilepsy. The alternative is to continue giving away his own body and spirit in order to maintain this unhealthy relationship but this only would maintain his current ill health.
When I conveyed all of this to Sofia she was able to fully accept and understand all the messages and the energetic system I conveyed to her. But the last time I heard from her a couple months after this reading, Jack was still suffering in the same state. In the next session I would do the further reading and scan where each of Sofia and Jack is.
It is said 80% of illnesses do not originate in the person who has it. This means that the root of illness is mostly somewhere else and this has to be treated in order to release the illness which has appeared as a consequence of that very root.
Sofia and Jack`s case demonstrates this and that children can easily be the one who takes over the energetic imbalance of another who fails to be responsible for their own well being. As children`s personal boundaries are so brittle they can so easily merge with people they love, especially with their mothers. Like in the cases above, acknowledgment of the root cause could have the power to release illness from the patient that was previously difficult to treat with only western medicine.
<The point of Reflections>
1. As you have been a child and maybe now as you have become also a parent, what was the teaching and reminder of this case for you ?
2. If there are some unhealthy entanglements you currently have with someone or with some incidents, what would be your choice ? How would you chose to deal with them ?
Take a deep breath...
Close your eyes and clense your body with the cristal clear light...
Embrace your whole body with gentle pink ray with compassion...
It is natural that it takes sometime for us to digest whatever we find in these deep reflections.
Some may be felt uncomfortable or shocked.
So it must require lots of energies for us to try opening our heart to receive what we find, to deepen our reflections, and to transform these understanding into wisdom and compassion.
I wish you to take a good rest and be really loving to yourself.
For those who like to check the accuracy of your understanding, to receive support in discernment in order to carry on the journey of your healing and transformations, please feel free to contact me.
We can talk further and see how I can best assist you according to your need and intention.
with love and light
Eri ( → profile )